March252014

February22014

wowwww it’s been a long time since i’ve written here, how very sad! i think i’ll take this opportunity to comment on how overhearing the guy in the flat next to mine has reached a new level of creepy. i can hear his music (which is nothing new) but i can also hear the facebook message noise. which brings us on to the more pressing fact at hand, that means he can hear my facebook message noises… and if he can hear my message noises he sure as heck can hear all the my little pony i’ve been watching today I MEAN all the work i’ve totally been doing. mmhmm. yep. no doubt. in other news, i haven’t heard his girlfriend in a long time… did they break up? is she on a year abroad? is this actually a new guy and the old guy-with-the-noisy-girlfriend moved out and i just can’t tell the difference? he does listen to music alot less than he used to… and seems to be in his room alot less than he used to… the fact i’ve noticed a change in his daily routine is also creepy. i think i’m coming to the conclusion that i am just a massive creep. but when it’s so painfully easy to overhear how do you resist?! the answer is you don’t. you embrace your fate. and drop some major eaves.

this has been, the continuing saga of the life of the guy in the flat across from us, who has potentially broken up with his annoying girlfriend.

tune in next time to find out what hijinx, capers and shenanigans he gets up to.

September262013

i was just writing a text and i’d written the word “soon”, my phone recognised this, it wrote soon, and then i continued on with the sentence and then it changed my soon to “dojo”. the heck?! are the letters for dojo and soon in similar places?! well yes kind of. but the thing i don’t understand is, it had already written the word and i’d moved on AND THEN it changed my word. i do not understand at all why it would do that. one time it corrected asda to assault. that was amusing. also, i updated my itunes today. i was forced into it. i just updated my phone to ios7 and to connect it to itunes i had to have the most recent version. so i was like well boys, this is it. the battle is over. the battle is forfeit. for nearly a year i fought the pop-up message that would appear each time i opened itunes “there’s a new version of itunes available, would you like to update now?” NEVARRRRRRRRRRRRRR. until today. and oh man, i am hating it. why is there no coverflow?! why would they get rid of coverflow?! do they not realise EVERYONE likes(loves) coverflow?! do they do this to spite us?! to make us angry?! well lemme tell them, it freaking worked. this rage is clearly an overreaction. but taking away my precious coverflow was a mistake. a vile, disgusting trick. how dare you itunes. how dare you.

September52013

so a couple days ago i got an adventure time texture pack for minecraft. one of the greatest decisions i’ve ever made. everything is so pretty. and adventure time-y. (pumpkins are bmos!) it makes me happy. i’ve also recently discovered the magical amazingness of note blocks. and as a result, the insane songs that have been recreated using them. challenge accepted. now to go mine a buttload of redstone and cut down a forest of trees. getting the redstone, not so hard. getting the trees, however, presents somewhat more of an issue. considering i established my home base in an ocean. BUT i dug a tunnel to a beach that borders a plains biome and i found horses! 4 horses! it was magical. then on my diggin travels i found a dungeon. or rather i found a baby zombie in a cage that looked like it was on fire. got really scared and blocked up the wall til i did some research. then went back in, put torches everywhere and claimed the chest. wherein i found a saddle. OH HELLO HORSEY TIME. so that was really exciting. horsies can jump really high too.

this has been, amby’s adventures in the world of minecraft. tune in next time to find out what shenanigans, hijinks and creative capers go down.

September22013

its the 2nd of september. there is so much temptation to be all like “HOW IS IT SEPTEMBER ALREADY I MEAN WAT?!” and freak out about how fast time has gone by. when really it feels like this summer has plugged along painfully slowly. i mean yes, we are finally here, the new semester will be starting in a couple weeks and it’ll be back on the work wagon. but it doesn’t feel like the weeks and months have flown by. its strange. on another note, how on earth does silverware get magnetised?! pretty sure someone told me once its something to do with the dishwasher, but how on earth does a dishwasher go about doing that?! flipping through the channels earlier i saw that gilmore girls was on. and being me i couldn’t say no to a cheeky wee bit of gg’s. its the episode after the one where rory stole a yacht. lorelai has to pick her up from the police station. its also the episode after the one where stupid-logan’s-dad-huntsberger-man told rory she didn’t have ‘it’. that she didn’t have what it takes to be a journalist. that she should basically go choose a new life career. but for anyone who knows rory, all she’s ever wanted to be was a journalist. don’t you tell her she don’t have what it takes. man i will cuuuut you. rude. its also the episode rory decides to drop out of yale. whaaaaaaaaaaat?! yeah, that’s right. and so it begins. rory’s crap years. the worst of the 7 seasons is about to commence. AND OH MAN I ALMOST FORGOT. its the episode where lorelai just looks at luke, who is ranting about plans to keep rory in yale, and he finally looks up and is like what? and she’s just like “luke, will you marry me?” aaaaaaand that’s the end of the season people. 

July222013

its hilarious how much of a 90’s bubble austria is trapped in. i just got back from visiting my sister and i couldn’t help but notice. kelsey speculated that maybe people thought the 90’s were just making a comeback. to which i replied “no, i think they just never left.” in the 8/9 years since i first visited that beautiful country, their sense of style has never changed. the guy haircuts with the silly little designs shaved into them. the little goatees. the star tattoos. the tribal tattoos. just so many tattoos. (i feel like i saw more tattooed people in those 11 days than i have in the last 3 years i’ve spent in edinbra.) the crocs. oh my days the crocs. the 3/4 length trousers. the 3/4 length trousers with socks pulled up combo. the velcro sandals. on nearly every single man and child. pop rocks. juicy drop pops. flick ‘n’ lick lollipops that used to make you feel so cool. mullet sighting and rat-tails were very low. thank the lord. worst haircuts in creation. though i did see one that especially bad. i saw a guy walk past wearing socks and sandals and he just looked like he had long hair that was in a ponytail. however on closer inspection as he walked by i discovered, to my horror, that this was not the case. he had the sides of his head shaved but there was this one long tail left at the back. not at all sure why people are attracted to these hairstyles. its not even a hairstyle. it just seems like complete laziness on the part of the hairdresser. just keep cutting you fool.

June142013

i hate tangled wool. if you’ve ever worked with yarn before on any sort of crafty project then you may well be aware of this phenomenon. the bane of a knitter’s life. you’re working away, unraveling the ball of wool as you go, when you then feel some resistance when you go to do the next stitch. you look down and there before your eyes is a hideous sight. the ball of wool has gone from a lovely cooperative little buddy, to the spawn of some woolly evil. a knot has formed. almost always uncalled for, these tangles appear. where did you even come from?! the ball of wool is simply yarn wrapped round and round and round. where the flip does a tangle even have opportunity to form?! but there it sits. you gently grasp one of the strands coming out of the tangle and start to pull, hoping the whole thing will just come lose and all can be well in the world again. but so often this is sadly not the case. the tangle tightens. you stop. you select a different strand and start gently pulling that. the tangle unravels slightly but then seems to form another separate tangle. HOW?!? it turns into a game between life and eternal frustration. you only have so much time before your tangle tightens into an irretrievable knot. less stressful than diffusing a bomb. but not by much. you can go from totally calm and chillaxed to full on fiery rage in a matter of moments. gentle pulling turns to frustrated tugging. which of course only makes things worse but you don’t even care anymore. I JUST WANT TO KNIT MY THING YOU STUPID WOOL. but it does not heed your words, oh no. its silence mocks you. as it stands my battle with the tangle remains unconcluded. the insufferable mess lay where i threw it, on the floor at the other side of the room. 

April52013

i’m feeling strangely productive. i want to make something. i think i’ll write a letter to someone that i promised i would write to a long time ago but never found the time. time is an interesting thing. the people who came up with the idea that there are 24 hours in a day and that each hour has 60 minutes and that each minute has 60 seconds and so on, those people are amazing! i’ve always wondered though, how did they figure those numbers out?! why was it agreed upon that a minute will have 60 seconds in it and not any other number of seconds? why also, was it figured out that there will be 60 of these minutes in what will come to be known as an hour? and why are there 24 hours in a day? now i know it must have to do with the cycle of the sun but how did this breaking up of the day come about? why are there not 30 hours? and why are the hours not shorter? why are the hours not longer? why are the minutes not a different length? time is confusing. and so often we take time for granted. “i’ll do it when i have time” but you don’t know how much time you’ve got. that’s maybe a morbid thought… but its true. if you go through life saying you’ll do things when you have time you’ll never get these things done. now i don’t think that means you should just drop what you’re doing this instant and go do this thing you want to do, some planning should go into it maybe. but in this day and age, we so often find ourselves just doing the same thing everyday. waking up in the morning, going to school/work, coming home, maybe meeting some friends, having dinner and going to sleep. only to wake up the next day and do it all over again. and we get into this routine. and those things we wanted to do, they get pushed to the back of our minds. i’ll do that when i have time. i’ll do that when i have money. i’ll do that when i have a job. when i’m older. when i’m this. when i’m that. and then that thing never gets done. we get so caught up in just living, that we don’t actually live. its not something i want to happen to me. and i have alot of dreams i want to turn into something. like alot. i made a life-list when i was like 14 of things i wanted to do in my lifetime (cheesy i know. get over it.) and its kinda sad how few i’ve accomplished. when i know plenty of people my age who have already done so much more… but yes. i think that’s what this whole train of thought is about. don’t think about things you want to do that you think will never happen. get out there and do them. make them happen.

March242013

i’m writing a lab report and i just tried to make a sentence in my head using the word “mixation”. the word “mixed” with an “ation” ending. is there an actual word for mixation? the act of being mixed? mixation beats mixed anyday. 

March102013

on my way home today i stopped off at sainsburys to get some milk and a few other things, but as i left the shop i didn’t put my gloves back on. “i can handle it,” i told myself. its not that far. oh my days how wrong i was. i most certainly could NOT handle it. 

not wearing gloves is a bad life choice. 

i was doing some research for a lab report the other day and i came across this sentence in connection with distillation columns, “these trays bring liquid and vapour into intimate contact in order to obtain the required separation.” and i was just like intimate contact ehhh?? because i’m just that mature…

March22013

so a couple nights ago i was woken at almost 4 in the morning to the sound of the buzzer in the flat across from us. i should not be able to hear that. its weird. and a little creepy… but anyway it buzzes. and then 5 seconds later it buzzes again. and again. and again. and again. until i’m like can someone please just let these idiots in?! finally the buzzer stops. and then i hear them coming up the stairs. making a freakin’ ruckus like its nobody’s business. and i can hear that its them. guy in the flat across from us and his annoying girlfriend. they finally get up to the flat and i hear them bustle inside. and then i hear the guy shouting, (he must have made it to his room) “THEY’RE HERE! MY KEYS, ARE HERE.” and i’m just lying in bed like “GREAT. NOW SHUT THE FLIP UP AND GO TO BED.” they bang about and i can hear them having some form of conversation but i don’t catch much before i magically manage to drift off again. 

but today there has been a development. or maybe rather, a potential development. annoying girlfriend might actually have a name. and her name may or may not be… megan. i heard the guy calling out this morning and she was laughing and then saying something. but i was half asleep so couldn’t make it out. but i heard ‘megan’. also, she has a cough that makes her sound like she’s on the verge of death. but its also like a fake cough. like that super exaggerated one you do when you do actually have a cough but you’re so fed up of having it you exaggerate it so show your frustration. and usually follow it up with “blehhh i’m dyingggg” or some such comment. but she always coughs like that. so either she’s just really unfortunate and is ill on and off alot. or she just permanently has the cough of death. or maybe she just likes to make a big deal out of something that’s really not a big deal… 

this has been, the continuing saga of the life of the guy in the flat across from us and his annoying girlfriend. (who is potentially called megan…) 

tune in next time to find out what hijinx, capers and shenanigans they get up to.

February252013

this is my favourite time of day to be working at my desk in my window. when the sun is on its downward path. and everything becomes orange and bright. it makes me happy. but then sad because its such a short window of time. and then everything starts getting darker. and colder. oh summer please come to me. i miss your fingers of warmth on my shoulder, urging me onwards. to victory. come to me soon.  

February172013

last night i was googling something for my lab report, “does a frictionless surface exist”, even though i was already 95% sure of the answer. (but when you’ve been writing one of these reports for a while you begin to doubt all fundamental knowledge of the world around you.)

anyways, when i’d only typed “does a” some suggestions came up:

nose piercing hurt

tattoo hurt

kindle have a light

baby need a passport

and for some reason “does a baby need a passport” made me laugh hysterically for like 5 minutes.

enjoy this little anecdote from, “a late night in the life of a chemical engineering student.” i might write a book of them.

February132013

you know that awkward moment when you’re working on getting a degree in chemical engineering, and your best friend is working on her degree in social anthropology, and she has better mental arithmetic than you? yeah that happened to me. we were playing cribbage, or rather, lucy was destroying me in cribbage. i don’t usually have any trouble at all adding up to 15. but that night i was having some issues. like major issues. it was pretty hilarious. for her. i just felt retarded. or the next day when she asked me to do a sum for her, to figure out what she’d gotten for one of her essays, and i couldn’t. but her flatmate who is doing zoology could. yeah that was pretty great as well. she knew her overall mark. and she knew that 20% of that was from one of her other essays, which she also knew. so i just had to use that to work out the mark for the remaining essay in question. but i couldn’t get my head around what was happening. good grief it was like being back at ayr academy, trying to do those stupid brainteasers for the maths challenge. not fun times. 

5PM

how loud is a handgun? i was thinking about this the other day. you always see in shooting ranges and stuff people all wearing ear protectors. but in real life, like in a police chase, ain’t nobody got time for ear protectors. and after they’ve shot their gun, maybe multiple times, they’re never like “OH MY EARS I SHALL NEVER HEAR AGAIN.” now obviously they’re loud. a mini explosion is happening for gosh sakes. but just how loud?? i was in the library the other day when i overheard this guy using his ipad to talk to his mom over skype. it was hilarious. he was getting so frustrated. “ok i have to go now, i’m in the library. no, i’ve been working all day on my report. WHY ARE YOU GETTING MAD AT ME?!?! I NEED TO GO. right, my battery is gonna die i have to go. i need to go finish my presentation. i’ve been working in the library all day! i have to go! i’ll speak to you tomorrow. right, i have alot of work to do. i have to go. yes, ok, i need to go now. ok bye.” post-its is a weird name. like, who the flip came up with that?! who was the person who decided that “little pieces of note paper that i can stick wherever i want” should no longer be called “little pieces of note paper i can stick wherever i want” but should instead be called post-its?! is it an abbreviation? and if so, what on earth is it an abbreviation of?! 

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